Learn Who You’re NOT to Unlock Who You ARE
Learn who you’re not – People spend a lot of time searching for who they are. Missing the vital step of understanding who they are not.
My understanding of learning who I was not, didn’t come from a book, a fortune cookie, or some wise old soul.
It came from enduring five years of depression and obsessively pursuing the practice of meditation. I practiced both transcendental meditation and binaural beats from the Centerpoint Institute.
What I discovered was who I wasn’t as opposed to who I was.
Before we go into that however, let’s discuss the topic of who you are.
Learn who you’re not – Who are you?
Seriously, who the hell are you? Are you the 10-year-old version of yourself, the 20-year-old, the 40, 50, 60, 70, which version of you are you?
Are you, you right now – meaning are you the present day you?
Are you your desires, star sign, Chinese year, a soul, an emotion, a thought…
Maybe who you are today is based on you identifying with something you are obsessively passionate about, but in 5 or 10 years’ time you lose that passion, so does that mean you are two different people?
When you were 10 years old, perhaps you obsessed over sweets and toys. Now you want houses and cars.
Which version of you was the real version?
Is there only one version of you?
How do you know if the current version is the correct one?
I take it you see where I’m going with this.
Who you are doesn’t seem to get you close to answering the question of who you truly are (If there is such an answer).
You can certainly believe you know who you are but most likely that will change over time. If you want proof of that, just look at your past.
To some people, you are a parent, to others a sibling, to others a son or a daughter, and to some a lover, a wife, a partner, a teacher, and so on.
Whoever you think you are, the world is full of people who have different versions of you.
Are all the people that have different versions of you wrong? or are they all right? or are some of them right and some of them wrong? Which one is it?
Do you get to decide which version is the right version?
What’s Adolf Hitler got to do with this?
I don’t mean to bring Hitler into this but I will.
Learn who you’re not – Historically Hitler is known as one of the evilest men on the planet. But I would bet, there were people who looked at him…. hmmm….. let’s just say differently.
Hitler was a baby once, perhaps his mother loved him. He was someone’s child. He most likely was not raised with the viewpoint that he is the evilest person on the planet.
I use the Hitler example because even when we go to the farthest extremes of certainty, you will find alternative interpretations of what the consensus would tell us is the truth.
That’s enough about Hitler. I am sorry if that caused you stress.
Hitler is irrelevant here but serves us to make a point that even when we are 100% certain, there are alternative viewpoints that are also valid.
Let’s go back to who you are not
Learn who you’re not – In order for me to deal with depression, I had to go on a mindful journey that made me realize something very important.
We often become depressed when we identify with the state of depression.
People say things like “I am depressed”.
The language here is very important. When we say “I am (fill in the blank)” we are identifying with the state of being.
This is dangerous territory because we BECOME the problem.
Another way of saying it is “I have depression”.
This is not semantics. This is a key change in our perception. It is a shift in thinking.
By saying I HAVE depression, you are in fact taking ownership of the state of being.
By the way, this works for all states of being. Anxiety, stress, anger, and the positive ones too. Happiness, joy, love, and so on.
Depression an Extreme State
Depression is an extreme state, insofar that it is far away from a balanced state of being.
It was meditation that opened my mind up to the reality that I am not my thoughts or my emotions.
Instead, I have thoughts and emotions and it is my choice as to whether I identify with them or not.
Learn who you’re not – This was a turning point for me. It was not a cure, but it was a gamechanger that led to me overcoming the state of depression.
You see when you identify with thoughts and emotions who have a tendency to become a victim of them.
You don’t see where they stop and you begin. They are all one continuous stream of energy.
When you identify with them, meaning you are them, you are oblivious to seeing the subconscious thought patterns that lead you to the same outcome over and over again.
However, when you take ownership of them, you can create separation and ownership.
Let us Imagine…
Think of a small red ball. If I asked you to let go of a small red ball. The first thing you would have to do is pick up/hold the small red ball.
Only by picking it up and taking ownership of it, and realizing that it is not attached to you do you have the power to release it and let it go, or use it as you please.
Now see your state of being as that small red ball. You now have the ability to release it because for the first time you have taken ownership of it.
One of the most powerful things any human being can do is realize that they are not their thoughts or their feelings or their past or current circumstances or whatever future predictions they are making.
You are not them and you do not have to identify with them.
Why is this important?
Let’s look at a practical application in our lives.
How often have you started a new interest, such as cooking or a digital marketing course, and the self-defeating thoughts start to creep in.
You start saying things like “this isn’t for me”, I’m no good at this”, I’ll never be good enough”, “I’m stupid”, “I’m not smart enough” and so on.
You start to identify with all these self-defeating thoughts.
You don’t just see them as thoughts, but you see them as reality. As a matter of fact.
You don’t stop yourself in your tracks and think “I HAVE self-defeating thoughts”.
Instead, you come to the realization that you are a failure and that you should quit.
Anyone who’s ever tried anything, probably knows exactly what I’m talking about.
Do you have a choice?
I’m saying you can own these thoughts and let them go.
You are not your thoughts, you are not your feelings, these are things you have.
While this is a relatively easy concept to understand, most people will never truly grasp this concept of learn who you’re not.
This is not something to be grasped on the superficial level of thinking.
It must be dwelled upon repeatedly and tested and practiced over and over again until one day it will finally hit you, that you are in fact not your thoughts or your emotions.
Learn who you’re not – You never were. Thoughts and emotions are here for you to use as you wish, they are not here to control you. You get to decide what they are here for.
I don’t know who you are, but one thing I can tell you for certain is who you are not.
Don’t miss this hit article 10 Positive Mental Health Practices For Better Business
I’m Scott D. Renwick – a free thinker, blogger, entrepreneur, and landscape contractor at your service.