Why do Men Lie to Women?

Why do Men Lie to Women? is an article that will cast some light on the age-old problem of men lying to their female partners.

This article is geared towards a heterosexual relationship. Not because the logic doesn’t translate, it may well do, it’s just that, this is based on my own experience.

When I say men, I mean boyfriends, husbands, and romantic partners, when I say women I mean girlfriends, wives, and romantic partners.

Now we’ve got the technical part out of the way let us proceed.

Men lie to women. They do. Most of the time these lies are what we refer to as white lies – a lie that we see as unimportant or harmless.

White lies open the door to the creative justification for what a white lie is. If you’re creative enough in your own mind, you can pretty much justify any lie.

Men will literally tell themselves that they are lying for the greater good. Men will even think it’s noble to lie. As if they are taking the higher road so to speak. Doing the honorable, manly thing.

Us men are really terrific with our noble stoic lies.

White lies become an unconscious habit and the occasional legitimate lie may creep in, which is inevitable.

So why do we men lie to our women?

The hard truth is, if men didn’t lie to women, most relationships wouldn’t last 2 weeks – sorry ladies, this is true.

Not because men want the relationship to end, it’s just that women for some reason are diabolical at handling the truth.

Women will swear until they are blue in the face that what they want is an honest man, but in reality, they can’t handle honesty. Basically, they want the truth that makes them feel good, but they don’t want the truth that makes them feel icky.

Let’s say a man is on the brink of saying something where he has two options:

Option 1: Tell the truth
Option 2: Lie

He knows if he goes with option 1 and tells the truth the woman will react in a harsh way and he knows if he goes with option 2, the woman will be ok and peace will be sustained.

So let’s translate the above options and let’s take a closer look at what the real choices are

Option 1: Aggression, anger, hatred, stress
Option 2: Peaceful, happy, pleasant

Men are practical creatures, between option 1 and option 2, men will naturally go with option 2, which means men will naturally lie.

Women on the other hand are generally honest and will say what’s on their minds.

When men hear the truth, they have a tendency to absorb the truth like some sort of truth-absorbing sponge.

They don’t react in a hostile way, they might blink a couple of times, or they might say “is there anything else you’d like to add honey?”, they may hug their women to give them comfort and protection, and most importantly understanding.

This is, generally speaking, obviously, there are men that are oblivious to such behavior.

Let’s look at the options again for women, before we translate them:

Option 1: Tell the truth
Option 2: Lie

Now let’s translate them:

Option 1: Acceptance, support, understanding, release
Option 2: Confusion, frustration, resentment

Clearly, women will naturally choose option 1 and tell the truth.

Men allow a more nurturing environment for women to tell the truth. Women host a hostile environment for men to tell the truth.

It takes courage for a man to tell the truth to his woman all the time because for the man to do this, he has to be willing to walk through a path of fire.

Generally, men do not want to walk down a path of fire, so lying becomes the default position.

What does this lead to?

This leads to a relationship where the man is emasculated because he can’t even tell the truth in his own home and the woman becomes defeminized because she seems to be the one who has the power to tell it like it is – what a hero?!? – GIRL POWER!

The masculine and feminine energies are out of balance. Nobody is really fulfilled in the relationship, but it’s sustained and there are practical reasons to stay together.

The couple can go on like this until they die or one day the man finally has the courage to tell the truth. By this stage, it’s just too overwhelming and it can shatter the relationship, ultimately destroying it.

The bottom line of this article is that if men want to tell the truth, they must be courageous, and if a woman wants a man that tells the truth, they must learn to listen without reacting like a crazed lunatic.

Both men and women are equally responsible for men lying.

The problem is men don’t realize they are cowards in this aspect of their lives, and women don’t realize they are hostile tyrants in the equation.

Wisdom From Jordan Peterson

World-renowned clinical psychologist Jordan Peterson wrote the book – 12 Rules for Life. This is a book that details effective ways to coordinate and conduct yourself in the world.

In an interview he was asked, which is the hardest rule to follow. Jordan said without much hesitation that the hardest rule to follow was rule number 8 – “Tell the truth. Or at least don’t lie”. In other words, be honest.

It was very refreshing for him to give this answer because I think most people would like to think of themselves as honest people that don’t lie. They don’t realize that they are probably not honest most of the time, particularly with themselves.

If women were being honest with themselves, they would realize that they are conditioning their men to be liars and if men were being honest with themselves they would realize they are reinforcing the self-image of themselves as being a coward.

It’s not a lost cause but it does take hard work and commitment on both sides. Sadly for most couples, the one thing that is sustaining them is not love but lies – little, beautiful, pretty white lies.

So now you know why men lie, the question now is what are you going to do about it?